Do you make space for yourself?
Whether it is in your thoughts, your schedule or overall as a priority?
What is it about being female that automatically has us put just about everything and everyone else ahead of what we need and want? It’s a vicious cycle that no one intentionally taught us, but it is a way of being that we have learned through our experiences watching other women in our lives, on TV, or in our favourite movies.
It’s time to start creating space for You.
Creating space for you can take many forms. It may be that you need to make space to think, to be alone, or maybe it’s self-care that you need to make space for. You might even need to create a physical space in your home that is all yours.
Five steps to creating space for You:
1. Acknowledge that you need something for yourself that you are not getting today – Take a few minutes each day for the next week and ask yourself, “What do I need most?”. Make a note each day of what your thoughts are telling you.
2. Give yourself permission to explore what you need – After a week, take a look at your notes. What stands out? Are there repeated thoughts?
3. Pick one thing that will create space for you. Let’s say the space you want is quiet time to yourself. What does that look like? Is it 15 minutes, an hour, or half a day? Do you need to be anywhere in particular to have quiet time? What do you need to make it happen?
4. Schedule it – Just like you do your kid’s activities, appointments and work, schedule time in your calendar for you.
5. Protect your time – Planning your quiet time is only part of the process; the most challenging part is protecting that time. To do that, you need to learn to say No. Believe it or not, no, is a complete sentence.
Please know that it may take a few tries to create space for yourself, but that’s OK. It’s something new, and some part of the process is likely outside your comfort zone. For some of my coaching clients, learning to say no is one of the most challenging changes to make. Learning to say no is much more than stating the word out loud. When you say no to something or someone, you are saying yes to yourself. To do this, you need to believe that your wants and needs are as important as anyone else’s because they are. For some, it’s the guilt they feel when considering saying no, that has them saying yes, again.
Learning to say no, represents changing your habits, behaviour and thinking, all of which are very personal, and changing any one of them takes effort.
Creating space for yourself looks different for each woman. As you practice creating space for yourself, remember to show yourself grace. You don’t have to get it right every time; drop the judgement, appreciate your effort, and acknowledge yourself for trying and try again.
You deserve space for yourself!
Strategic Workplace Change Consultant & Leadership Coach Lisa Blanchet Coaching & Consulting
416.258.3727 | www.lisablanchet.ca